


Self

by Viroro



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5537219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viroro/pseuds/Viroro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Happstablook vanished, and how Mettaton came to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self

"Hey, Happstablook..."

"What is it, Blooky?"

Napstablook was slightly hunched down, their usual anxious expression plastered over their face. "...I'm sorry to ask, but... Are you going to try to become corporeal, too..."

Happstablook frowned at their cousin. They sounded resigned, even more than usual. They understood; their other cousin had just left them to become a training dummy, after all.

They smiled. "Come on Blooky, do you really believe I'd leave you? We're family, after all!"

Napstablook paused. "Sorry to have asked... I always am a bother..."

They slowly faded away, leaving Happstablook alone. Despite their behavior, they knew Blooky felt better. They were family, and they would stick together, no matter what.

Sure, they didn't have the fame and success they rightfully deserved, but things were still pretty good for them.

Happstablook turned to the small pond in the Quiet Area, observing the image it reflected. Once again, they didn't see themselves in it.

They turned around and went back to their house. Maybe one day they would find a body that reflected who they were.

***

Happstablook closed their door and let out a frustrated sigh. Their latest concert was a complete disaster.

Napstablook and Shyren had actually been pretty good; their mixes and her (tone-deaf) voice were a perfect complement to Happstablook's skills. What went wrong was that absolutely nobody came to see them, leaving the trio to perform for no one. Napstablook and Shyren blamed themselves for it, no matter how much Happstablook tried to convince them of the contrary.

Happstablook turned to their reflection in the window. They knew exactly why they failed: they were a bunch of nobodies, and their names left no mark on the public.

Their expression became determined. They would become a star as bright as the human ones no matter what, with Blooky and Shyren too.

***

_That's it?_

Happstablook couldn't stop thinking it, as they saw what was supposed to be the first meeting of their Human Fan Club. Featuring them, a sweaty, fidgety yellow lizard girl, and no one else.

They rolled their eyes. _Guess the anti-human sentiment is still strong in the Underground._

Happstablook hoped to find someone that could help them understand what worked for the human stars, but their luck was remarkable as always.

They faced the lizard. "So. Are you here for the fan club?"

The lizard was startled, and seemed ready to burst out of the room. She gulped and forced an uneasy smile, sweating heavily. "Y-yeah, m-my name is A-Alphys. I-I saw the ad and, w-well, I-I thought it c-could be fun."

Happstablook didn't say anything. Alphys kept her goofy smile going.

"S-so... D-do you like anime?"

Happstablook spent the next few hours listening to Alphys's ramblings about Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. Happstablook just kept nodding, completely uninterested in those dumb cartoons.

Though, even if they couldn't understand what she saw in it, they had fun talking to her. Maybe the Human Fan Club wouldn't end up being a waste of time.

***

Happstablook spent more and more time with Alphys. They started to open up and share their dreams: theirs to become a star and find the perfect body, and hers to become the Royal Scientist.

Apparently, the previous Royal Scientist—what was his name again? They couldn't quite remember it—had disappeared recently, and Asgore was looking for someone to replace him. Alphys really wanted to become that someone.

Happstablook knew a thing or two about impossible dreams, and wished her good luck for it. A sincere smile lit up Alphys's face as she thanked them. They smiled; cheering up people was always what they did best.

After the meeting ended, Shyren and Napstablook visited them to set up another concert. They wanted to try again. Happstablook was happy to help.

***

The result was the same as before. They tried their best, and Happstablook even had Alphys look for interested people, but nobody came. Shyren started to wonder if she should've taken singing lessons, while Napstablook shut themselves in their house, drowning their thoughts in music.

Happstablook's reaction was far less calm and composed. They lashed out at Alphys, revealing all the stress and dissatisfaction they had been going through. They rarely opened themselves to others, but they felt Alphys could be trusted.

Alphys seemed tense and didn't offer much in the way of advice. She excused herself and said she had something to do, ending the meeting early.

***

A few days later, Happstablook received a call from Alphys.

"There's something you need to see," she said over the phone.

They expected it to be a visual novel about Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, or a new series of it. Something only she would rave about. They were surprised to be proven wrong.

Blueprints, fairly in-depth blueprints of a robot shell. Some notes scribbled here and there and alternate modes to the side, billed 'EX' and 'NEO.'

As Happstablook looked, Alphys explained her crafty plan. She'd present them as a magical robot to Asgore, hopefully netting her the job as Royal Scientist. Then, they would be free to pursue their career in their new body.

They observed the body over and over. And finally, they saw himself in it. That was the body they—no, _he_ had yearned for all this time.

Happstablook thanked Alphys as the meeting ended. He had never been this happy, and he completely forgot that he should've met Napstablook and Shyren for practice.

***

As the days passed, his body got closer and closer to completion. Happstablook spent most of the time locked in his room, planning his rise to stardom, without so much as talking with his cousin and Shyren.

He heard a knock on the door. Happstablook found Napstablook in front of him, wearing their usual expression. Happstablook tensed up; he could feel his cousin's worry.

"I know I always get in the way... But I wanted to ask if there's anything wrong..."

Happstablook forced a smile. "I've just got some things to do. I'm all right."

Napstablook paused, and left without a word. Happstablook knew they weren't convinced, but he tried not to think of it.

This was the only chance he had to achieve his dream. And there was no way he'd waste it. Not even for his dear cousin.

***

The process of becoming corporeal went without a hitch; his desire to become a star was enough to completely bond him to the metal. It felt odd to be in that foreign body, yet also right. He finally had a body that reflected who he was.

Asgore bought into the ruse completely, and Alphys became the Royal Scientist. He overheard Asgore giving her an assignment right away, something about determination; she was delighted to be trusted already.

He was glad to have helped Alphys. One happy person in what was going to be a big line of them.

***

At first, the Underground paid attention to him because he was new, and new things are hard to come by for monsterkind. He was loud, pretentious, had a huge ego and was forceful in showing it, and the public absolutely loved every second of his screen time.  
Mettaton—his new name—just appeared, and stole the hearts of every monster before the day ended.

Before he knew it, he was the hottest thing around, and the most important person in all of the Underground, probably even more than Asgore himself.

Everything was going exactly like it should have. The limelight, the fans, everything. This was how it was all supposed to be.

***

If their self-esteem wasn't so cripplingly low, Napstablook would've tried to look more into Happstablook's disappearance.

They instead remained shut inside their house, listening to Spooktunes and feeling like trash. Just business as usual.

***

MTT Resort had just opened, and he was given complete free reign over every facet of it, from the hotel, to the fast food chain, to the restaurant.

No one dared to say anything over his decisions. After all, he was the finest entertainment robot in the Underground, and no one would want to get on his bad side.

Mettaton was pleased by this. He had finally reached the top, just like he dreamed of for years, but the top turned out to be a pretty lonely place.

He still kept tabs on Alphys, but she spent most of her time in her laboratory. It was good to see that she was such a workaholic.

Besides her, he didn't really need anyone else. He was every monster's favorite entertainer, and he couldn't afford to let his audience down. Maybe he needed to start thinking bigger. Maybe restricting himself to a monster audience was still not enough for him.

***

Napstablook wasn't sure when was the last time they and Shyren talked with each other. Without Happstablook, and with both too reclusive to share any interest, the friendship they shared slowly died until their bond faded away. They had never felt so alone.

***

Mettaton was surprised by Alphys's call, especially when he noticed how she sounded pretty sad. Being Royal Scientist must have ended up more stressful than she expected, even if it was her dream job.

Alphys gave him the run down of what happened. A human child had fallen into the Underground. They had already passed Snowdin and Waterfall, and they were about to visit Hotland.

She had tracked their every move, and hoped to be part of their adventure. She had a whole script ready for use, and it demanded a killer robot to play the part of the villain. Her tone made her sound pitiable and with almost no confidence in herself.

Mettaton took some seconds to reply. This was all far too familiar for him, bringing back memories he thought he had put aside.

He shook his rectangular body. The script sounded drab and uninspiring, and her plan far too selfish, but maybe he could put a twist to it here and there.

Plus, the idea of acting alongside a human had a certain charm. If he played his cards right, maybe he could manage to obtain their soul, and cross the barrier to make it big in the human world.

He agreed, and she thanked him over and over before hanging up. And then, Mettaton understood who she reminded him of. Blooky. She was acting just like Blooky.

When was the last time he'd even _thought_ of Blooky? His life before the fame, before _everything,_ felt like it belonged to someone else.

Mettaton stopped that line of thought before he could go too deep in it. He was the most important star in the Underground now, and he was in charge of everyone's happiness.

But he always knew he was meant for more. And now he had a chance to perform for an even larger crowd, if he managed to deal with the human.

Soon, he would be in charge of everyone's happiness. And as sad as it sounded, Blooky was not his priority anymore.

Why was he feeling so bad over it, then?

***

Napstablook was intently looking at the screen, observing Mettaton's latest show. Ever since he made his debut, Napstablook saw all his appearances.

It was a shame Happstablook disappeared like that; they would've probably enjoyed Mettaton. They were alike in so many ways.  
Napstablook had made sure to record all of Mettaton's shows, so that Happstablook could see them once they returned.

They said they were family, and Napstablook knew Happstablook always meant what they said. That's what they kept thinking, even after so much time had passed.

They weren't sure they believed that anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> A short fic that came to be while listening Death by Glamour one time too many. All my thanks to rat_insatiable on AO3 for proofreading this one-shot, deciding the title, and all the support she gave me: check her works, they are all pretty excellent. Thanks to everyone that will read it!


End file.
